


(Testing testing) I'm just suggesting you and I might just be the best thing

by idioticfangirl



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood-centric, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, BAMF Alec Lightwood, Cheesy, Fights, First Dates, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Guys I'm gay as hell don't take the homophobia seriously please, Homophobia, Insecure Alec, Kissing, M/M, Magnus Bane Is A Freewheeling Bisexual, Malec, Misunderstandings, No Valentine, One-Sided Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland, Worried Magnus, You think it's going well and then boom I want it longer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-06-05 07:56:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6696412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idioticfangirl/pseuds/idioticfangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How can Alec's life get any worse?  He's been kicked out of Idris for being gay, and is now living in an apartment with only Izzy for occasional comfort.  Enter Magnus Bane, just your normal guy next door who throws incredibly loud parties, because life sees the question 'How can it possibly get worse?" as a challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"That's it, the last box," the moving van driver called down to Alec, who was standing outside his new apartment, staring up at it with a growing sense of dread. He watched as the men dragged the boxes into the empty space that would now be his living room, not bothering to tell them to be gentle with them because they weren't important. None of these belongings, no matter how expensive or personal, were important. 

Everything important had been left at the Institute, ripped from him in a fit of anger over something as insignificant as his sexuality, and now he was left with nothing. His sister had promised to call, winking at him as she suggested she steal a stele and some weapons, his bow and arrow perhaps, but he had told her not to bother.

Jace hadn't been able to look at him as he left.

Alec visibly shook himself out of the flashback, the image of Jace's face twisted in confusion and maybe a little disgust seared into his brain so that he saw it every time he blinked, and instead took the time to look at his surroundings, something he hadn't bothered to do since being told he was going to move. Honestly, he was grateful his parents had even bothered to pay for an apartment, small and far away though it was.

There was a man standing in the window of the apartment next to his, Alec noted, unable to prevent his Shadowhunter training paying attention to every detail even as it would no longer be useful to him. The man was young, asian looking, with jet black hair styled in spikes that were obviously meant to look effortless, although he probably spent hours styling it. The most noticeable thing about him, without a doubt, was the aura of glitter surrounding him, around his eyes, in his hair, and copious amounts of the stuff were sprinkled on his already attention-seeking (read: neon) clothes.

The man raised a hand, and Alec automatically tried for a half-smile, starting a little when a faint trail of sparks seemed to appear where the man waved. Just more glitter, he told himself, and stepped inside his new apartment.

 

It didn't take long for Alec to arrange his apartment. His already minimalist, practical approach to furnishings was exacerbated by the fact that the only furniture he could take with him were what his parents allowed him to have, and, since he had just been thrown from the Institute and the Shadowhunter world due to his sudden, stupid confession at loving Jace, they hadn't wanted to give him much.

But it was all he needed. There was a bed, and a sofa big enough for two in case Izzy ever came over, the only visitor that he would ever have, and a TV stood alone in the corner, on a makeshift stand of books. The books were everywhere, spilling from the bookshelves that he had brought from his own room and invading every corner and surface until if it wasn't for Alec's trained grace he would have stubbed his toe more times than he could count.

It was messy, and impractical to fight in or get anywhere quickly, but Alec liked it. Despite everything, despite having nothing of his old world and being all alone, it felt a little bit more like home.

 

At first, Alec had debated introducing himself to his neighbours. Put himself out there, make some friends, make something of his life. This was his fresh start, after all. But, once inside the apartment with no-one to tell him what to do, he felt all sense of productivity fade away. He got a job, working at a local archery camp for children, but that was just to pay the bills. For the rest of the day he was free to do what he wanted, eat when he wanted, go wherever he wanted.

The novelty of that (what little there was) wore off after a few days, and then he was just bored. Bored and alone, with an eerie silence pervading the small apartment, because even the busy noise of life on the streets of New York couldn't replace the sounds of his sister training with weapons, or Jace playing the piano.

Thoughts of Jace plagued Alec, were the reason that instead of sleeping he lay in his small, uncomfortable bed and tried to work out where it had all gone wrong. And it was when he was doing this, squeezing his eyes tight shut against the scenes that played out over and over in his brain, that he first heard the noise that he would be hearing for a long time.

A rhythmic thumping from the apartment next door began the experience. Had Alec been anything less than wide awake, he would have put it off as the outcome of the frequent nightmares that attacked him whenever he managed to sleep, but he could tell that they were real. Just as he was getting used to them, more noises exploded through the thin walls in one massive boom. Laughter, clinking, and a high-pitched whine that was apparently considered pop music assaulted his ears, and when Alec got up to walk to the window he saw a steady stream of people entering the glittery man's apartment, and if he leaned out slightly he could see flashing lights emitting from the room.

That night, he fell asleep with his pillow clutched over his ears.

 

To his shame, when Alec woke the next morning it was nearly noon, and he was only shaken out of sleep by the ringing of his phone. He slapped at his bedside table blindly, attempting to find it, before swiping his finger across the screen and blearily asking, "Hello?"

"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty!" Izzy chirped, and Alec groaned, rubbing a hand over his face to get the sleep out of his eyes, "Did you only just get up?"

"The guy next door decided to throw a party until like 5. It was ridiculous, I'm pretty sure I heard some people having sex, he needs to learn some manners!"

"Sounds like my kinda person," Izzy commented, and Alec thought back to the glittery guy. Sure, he reflected, he could see Izzy with him, in a flamboyant way, but imagining that just felt...wrong. "Alec?"

"What? Oh, sorry, yeah, drifted off. He's very glittery, I'll give him that."

"Glittery? Go back to sleep Alec, we all know how useless you are when you're tired."

"Yes sir," he muttered, hanging up with a last 'love you' and a promise to call back later when he was fully rested, before slipping blissfully back into sleep.

 

He didn't see the annoying neighbour again until he exited the apartment to get the mail one morning, dressed only in his sleeping gear, a black vest-top and tracksuit bottoms, to see a man standing at the mailbox in a bright pink robe that assaulted his eyes, hair mussed from sleep but still containing at least a pot of hair gel.

"Morning!" The man chirped as soon as he saw Alec. At first Alec had been going to ignore him, then thought a friendly smile and a nod, and then thought oh shit he's attractive what do I do?

What came out of his mouth was, "I'm surprised you're up this early. Or, I guess, I'm surprised you're not still tending to your guests." Immediately he felt the need to clap his hand over his mouth, too late to stop any of it coming out, and blushed a deep red, but, rather than getting insulted, his neighbour flashed him a rueful grin.

"Ah, yeah, sorry about that, I forget how nocturnal some people can be, you know?" Alec didn't know, had no idea what the guy meant, but found himself nodding anyway, a mixture of leftover embarrassment and shock that the guy could look so good. They might have said something else, some fleeting conversation about the weather or something, but it was over far to quickly and with a last promise to keep it down next time, the man was gone and Alec went back to his apartment, forgetting all about the mail and everything else in favour of five words revolving round his head. "I'm Magnus, by the way."

Magnus. Alone in his apartment, Alec couldn't help but repeat the name to himself, marvelling at the way it fitted its wearer. In a fit of panic and some excitement, fuelled by adrenaline in a way that he hadn't since his last ever demon battle, he called Izzy.

"He's attractive!" He blurted the second she answered.

"...Who is? Alec, is this some type of code?"

"I mean, he's not J -" oh God, Jace. Alec hadn't even thought about him, but he was so different to Magnus. Jace was sunlight and battle scars and abs and danger, but Magnus was dark and mysterious but still bright and flirty, but Alec still felt almost guilty, as though he wasn't allowed to think of anyone in that way but Jace, Jace who would never want him back, Jace who hated him now, but Alec couldn't just stop, couldn't move on...

"Who are you going on about?" Izzy sounded pissed, and Alec suddenly remembered how early it was, and how much she hated being woken up.

"Glittery guy. Well, Magnus. Party guy. My neighbour!"

"And he's...attractive?" 

There was no point hiding by now that he liked guys, it wasn't like the Clave would let him back in. Two rules, don't be gay and don't love your parabatai, and Alec had somehow fucked up enough to be gay for his parabatai. But Izzy still loved him, wouldn't judge him, so he grinned into the phone. "He is, Izzy, he really is."

She yawned. "Tell me all about him, then," and Alec gratefully launched into his story.

 

Magnus kept to his promise of keeping the parties down, although Alec's trained senses meant that he could still hear them bouncing around by his room. His shock at the neighbour being so attractive had given way to anger, not really at the man but more at himself for doing it again, for letting his feelings get in the way of his actions when emotions could get you killed.

Except, and the thought terrified him, they didn't anymore. Mundanes never even considered emotions to be something that hampered them, and he was a mundane now. Maybe he could just talk to the guy, live a normal life, act like he didn't know there were demons around every corner.

Or he could help his sister in any way he possibly could, keep one foot in the golden world that was so dangerous but so much more fulfilling, and abandon any hope of ever being like them.

Alec, ever the masochist, chose the second option, which meant that instead of entertaining any chance of asking Magnus out, he admired him from afar and thanked the gods that he was polite enough to make the parties quiet.

 

He awoke from a nightmare, covered in sweat and panting while the noise of a gunshot still rung in his ears, the look on Izzy's face as Jace had shot her for being related to him still fresh in his mind. It was just a nightmare, he repeated to himself, but it was difficult to convince himself of anything when his ears were still ringing with the gunshot and....

Next door. Loud booms rung from next door, making the floor vibrate, and Alec scuttled away, automatically reaching for a stele that wasn't there. Some part of his brain that was used to this told him that it was just another party, or maybe thunder at a stretch, that it wouldn't hurt him and he was being stupid, but alone in his apartment he had no-one to pretend to that he was okay. He spent the night curled up in a ball by the door, holding a penknife for protection even as he slipped back into a sleep filled with the noise of battle.

Yawning, Alec flung open the door, expecting to see Izzy even though she hadn't told him that she was coming round. To his surprise, it was Magnus, exactly the type of person one doesn't want to see when you've spent all night on your floor because their stupid party terrified you. And he was holding a plate of something.

Alec didn't say come in, his sleep-deprived brain unable even to form those words, but Magnus entered anyway, holding the plate to Alec like a peace offering. 

"I baked cookies!" he smiled, but his cat-like eyes flickered to the bags under Alec's boring blue ones even as he did so. "To apologise. I know I said I'd keep it down, but," he shrugged, "can't control my guests."

"That's..." Alec struggled for the phrase, "that's okay. Scared the hell out of me, though." His smile turned self-deprecating, lazily reaching out to take the plate from Magnus, who seemed on the verge of saying something but neither of them were sure what. "Have a good day!" Magnus stepped back on reflex and, cursing himself for being rude yet again, Alec collapsed on the sofa to watch shitty TV.

The cookies were terrible, but when Alec reached for another later that day he realised that, for some reason, he'd eaten them all. He allowed himself the indulgence of wondering whether Magnus went through the effort of baking for many people, since the cookies were so bad they had to be home-made, and was still smiling as he returned the plate to Magnus' apartment later that day, handing it to a boy with fluffy hair and a face far too cute to have such a dismissive frown on it.

 

About a month later, it happened again, startling Alec out of a relatively peaceful sleep with the noises and flashing lights through his window. The next morning, Magnus was at his door again, holding a plate of muffins this time.

"Your eyes are very blue," he pointed out, once Alec had thanked him and was standing there, unsure of whether or not to invite him in. Flustered, it was all that Alec could do to reply,

"Yours are slitted."

"Contacts," Magnus winked, whirling away and leaving Alec to gape after him.

 

Not long after that, Izzy visited again, having managed to sneak away from their parents for long enough to see him and check that he was okay. She still called them their parents, even though Alec knew that he was as good as dead to them, but he couldn't stand to alienate himself further from her, so he went along with it. As he was frantically tidying up the house, however, he heard voices outside, one low and sultry and the other high and clear.

"Oh god," he muttered, because who knew what his sister would be saying to Magnus. He practically threw open the door in his haste to see what was going on, and yes, there the two of them were, having a conversation outside Magnus' apartment.

"So Alec, is this the guy you always complain about?" Izzy winked, and Alec groaned internally.

"You complain about me?" the pout on Magnus' face was definitely exaggerated, although it was still attractive, but was it Alec's imagination or was the trace of disappointment in his voice real?

"Only the parties!" he blurted, but Izzy wasn't letting go of it that easily.

"What was it you said about his cookies?" she teased, and Alec wanted the floor to swallow him whole.

"You don't like my cookies?" the pout was back and Alec did not like it.

"I'm gonna get fat!" he forced a laugh that sounded painfully fake to him, and Izzy clearly wasn't buying it, but Magnus did nothing more than raise an eyebrow, so who knew what he thought?

"I think you're perfect, Alexander," he purred, winking a little, "I can't see you getting fat at all." And with that, he was back in his own apartment like that had never happened.

"You're right," Izzy commented the second they were inside Alec's apartment, "he is attractive. I like him. Good job!"

"We're not dating," Alec meant to say it indignantly, but it ended up as more of a question.

"Not yet," Izzy winked, and Alec slapped his forehead with his palm.

 

Although the conversations between them were a little stilted, with Alec stuttering at every word because Magnus seemed intent on flirting with him in the most obvious way possible ('your hair looks especially nice today, Alexander' or 'my, that top fits you well') until he could barely get the words out, but they fell into a familiar routine without ever mentioning it. Once a month or so, Magnus would throw a party that would get out of control, waking Alec from his sleep. The next morning, like clockwork, Magnus would be at Alec's door with some form of baked goods, apologising for the inconvenience and saying that he hoped it hadn't bothered him, before making some comment on Alec's appearance and flouncing away. A few times, Alec managed to yell a similar compliment back at Magnus, but he was the type of guy who took compliments with a 'yes, I am amazing, I know' response so it didn't really have the desired effect.

In truth, the parties stopped bothering Alec. Although he wouldn't admit it to anyone, not even his sister, whenever he woke up and immediately thought he was on a battleground he listened intently next door, eventually hearing Magnus shouting over the ruckus that they were going to disturb his poor neighbour so could they please keep it down, and it calmed him enough that he could sleep, or at least drift in the peaceful mindset that came just before sleep.

This happened a few times, with Alec getting bolder at each plate of food, until he was happy to laugh at Magnus' jokes even though he didn't like how loud it was, and even make a few back himself. And so it was that, nine months later and after a night where Magnus had been partying until the sun came up, he swung open the door the second the bell rung.

"What is it this time?" he grinned, teasing, but the person behind the door wasn't holding a plate. Nor were they wearing any form of glitter, black clothes instead of anything bright and, when Alec looked at their arms, they were covered in marks. He gulped.

"I thought we needed to talk," Jace said shortly, taking in Alec's appearance, "and I don't know what you mean 'this time', we haven't spoken in months, but if you want me to go, I'll," he took a step back.

"No!" the broken parabatai bond, the pain that Alec had managed to ignore for so long, twinged and came back full-force, until he stumbled and nearly fell, "No, I thought you were someone else, we should talk, please..." Jace nodded and walked inside as though he owned the place, Alec automatically falling behind him like he had so many times before.

"So," Jace spread his arms out, filling up the space around him with his presence the way he always did, and oh god Alec had missed him, "do you have anything to say?"

"I'm...sorry?" Alec hedged, unsure of what it was that Jace wanted.

"Is that it?"

"You came to me, so I think you're the one that wants to say something," Alec replied, too exhausted at the sight of his ex-parabatai to try to control himself.

"You did this to yourself, not me. You're the one that broke the parabatai bond! Couldn't you just," Jace flung his arms expressively and knocked into a bookshelf, toppling over several books but not even pausing to look at them, "keep it in?"

"You say it yourself," Alec muttered weakly, clutching the edge of the sofa for support even as he attempted to draw himself up to deal with the situation, "people can't help it."

"Mundanes, Alec," Jace sighed, "girls. People that see me from afar. Not, not you! You know you're not allowed to do that, you can't fall in love with parabatai, why couldn't you just..."

"Just what, Jace?" it was soft, gentle, broken.

"Just get it right," Jace mumbled, and he seemed sorry the second it came out, opening his mouth to apologise or maybe carry on, Alec didn't care, because there were shouts and bangs from next door and the next thing he heard was Magnus groaning in pain and suddenly whatever Jace said didn't matter, because Magnus was in trouble, and he didn't even think to let Jace finish or tell him what was happening before he pushed past and ran next door.

Jace didn't follow, but that didn't bother him.

The door to Magnus' apartment was open just a crack, enough for Alec to burst through, automatically reacting to his lack of a weapon by pulling his arms defensively in front of his face, not in the mindset to wonder why he was so certain that there would be a fight involved, only that there would be.

When he entered the living room, the layout a mirror image of his own but the furniture as he had come to expect from Magnus, flamboyant whilst being tasteful, there was indeed a fight. A woman, whom even Alec could tell was beautiful, gay as he was, was standing over Magnus. He was sat in his armchair, clutching his cheek and staring up at her with an unreadable expression on his face, while she snarled down at him.

The first emotion that Alec felt, white hot and rabid, was rage. He opened his mouth to speak, remembering through his swirling thoughts that Magnus wasn't his to get jealous over and shut it just in time. Next was a feeling of glum acceptance, that he was never destined to have someone like Magnus, and he carefully stepped back to leave. As though his movement sparked more, however, the woman took this moment to begin screaming.

"You're not done with me!" she pointed at him, and he looked up wearily.

"Camille," he sighed, dropping his head again, "I am."

"You said you loved me!" and in anyone else it would have sounded pathetic, heartbreaking, but Alec could already tell that this woman was cold, and the phrase was instead accusing, meant to guilt Magnus, no confession of her own feelings.

"I did," he replied, the words turning Alec's heart to stone until he recognised the tense, "but that was before you broke my heart and left me for hundreds of years. You should leave," He stood up to point to the door, and, as if in slow motion, both heads swung to look at Alec.

Immediately Camille's demeanour changed, going from evil witch to sickly sweet in a mere second. "New pet, Mags?" she asked, and hearing the pet name made Alec bristle almost more than the jab at him, "Isn't he sweet? How long will he last, do you think? No more than a decade, if that, and you'll be alone again. Does he know?" Magnus made no move to answer, staring at Alec and swaying slightly, and Camille sighed. "Enjoy your hangover, darling. I'll be in touch." And she flounced off, knocking into Alec as she did so despite his efforts to dodge out of the way. Magnus watched her leave, opening his mouth to say something just as she shut the door with a bang, and not bothering to close it as he turned his gaze to Alec.

"That was Camille," he waved a hand in the general direction of where she had just been, "isn't she lovely?" Alec raised an eyebrow expressively, and turned to leave himself, but was stopped by a call from Magnus, "Don't leave."

As though by magic, Alec felt his legs stop. His mind was whirring, reminding him that Jace was in the other room, and that Jace had wanted to talk to him and maybe they could sort things out so he should go see Jace, but for some reason the thought of Magnus wanted him to stay was more powerful than anything his brain could make up, so he did. 

Magnus' swaying had increased by now, hands hanging limply at his sides as he made a face and muttered, "I'm drunk. I'm very, very drunk." Alec took his arm, placing it over his shoulders while he slid his round Magnus' waist, half dragging half carrying him to the sofa, where he placed him down gently.

"Water?" He asked, more for something to do with his hands than anything else, so that he didn't have to sit in awkward silence with is neighbour who, despite having flirted wiht him for quite some tim,e was still something of an enigma. Mganus didn't reply, which Alec took as a yes anyway.

"She's an ex," Magnus announced loudly when Alec came back, "she was in Europe for years. I thought I was rid of her." Alec stood silently. "God knows why she came back, probably just to spite me. I am an amazing lover, she probably thinks about me every day. I know I do."

"Think about her every day?"

"Think about myself every day," Magnus quipped, his tongue looser from the alcohol as he rolled his head back to look Alec in the eye, "I haven't thought about her in months."

"What happened?"

"Found someone else to distract me," and he winked at Alec! In response, Alec blushed and looked to the floor, and when he looked back Magnus' eyes were closed.

"You're young," Magnus muttered, although he couldn't be more than 19 himself. "You don't understand the trials of love."

Alec didn't understand what made him say it, maybe Jace's words still ringing in his ears or maybe wanting to prove to Magnus that he wasn't an idiot, he did understand. "I know how it feels to have everyone you ever loved abandon you because of your sexuality, so that you have to move in to some crappy apartment in the middle of nowhere with only your sister for occasional company."

Magnus opened his eyes again. "Two of the people I loved ended up marrying each other," he replied lazily.

Not one to be bested, Alec responded with, "I fell in love with my best friend and now he hates me. He's round my house at the moment, yelling at me about how I was so stupid to ever like him. My parents have taken him as a son now and abandoned me, and everything I wanted to do when I was older I can't anymore! Don't tell me I don't understand, I understand p-"

"Everyone I love I watch die," that stopped Alec in his tracks, whipping his head round to stare at where Magnus was still lounged on the couch, eyes closed and head tilted back like he hadn't just admitted to such a thing. "And then I spend years getting over them and saying it won't happen again, but then I find another and," he raised his hands to wave them, grunting when it was more effort than he had expected and dropping them back onto his chest, "it starts all over again."

"How old are you?" was the only thing that Alec could find to say, awkwardness increased tenfold.

"Old enough." He cracked an eye open to watch Alec, "So what happened with your friend?" Now that the moment was gone, Alec was loath to share his troubles with someone who, when it boiled down to it, was a complete stranger, but Mganus egged him on. "I'll tell you if you tell me," and Alec launched into it, starting from the very beginning and working his way up. Every so often he would have to catch himself from mentioning a demon, but Magnus never seemed to notice the slips, nodding through politely. When Alec was done, gasping for breath, unused to talking for such a long period of time, Magnus told his own story, although he seemed to mention many more lovers than should be possible for such a young man. Must be polyamorous, Alec thought to himself, but he could live with that.

"Well then," Magnus rounded off with a gasp, "now that we know so much about each other, I think its only fair that I ask you on a date." Alec spared a second to think of Jace, maybe still at his or maybe already home, but the thought was gone as soon as it arrived and he grinned.

"Just give me a time and a place."

 

"What do I wear?" Alec begged Izzy, on the verge of a breakdown. It was the set night of the date, and Magnus was taking him out to a restaurant, but he didn't know where or how posh it was going to be or how expensive it was going to be and Izzy was the one person who could help him out.

"On the date?"

"Of course on the date Izzy what else am I going to be asking you you know it's today do you think I'm having a crisis about what to wear to bed?"

"Alec..." she sighed through her nose, "you do realise you only own black trousers and dark jumpers, right? Just try to wear some without too many holes in, for God's sake."

"Well that was unhelpful," Alec muttered, glaring at his phone as though it could make her un-hang up, but then the doorbell rang and he had no time to do anything more than glance down at his outfit to check the number of holes in it before scurrying to the door.

"Good evening," Magnus was leaning on the doorframe, his outfit slightly toned down compared to usual but still covered in enough glitter to nearly blind Alec every time he moved, and he reached out a hand to Alec, "ready to go?" Unable to speak, Alec nodded.

"So, where are we going?" he asked as they stepped out into the brisk November weather.

Magnus shrugged, shoving his hands deeply into his pockets. "A restaurant I know around here. It's Ethiopian and Italian fusion, so I can promise you something you've never tried before!" He winked.

"Ethiopian and....Italian?" Alec repeated slowly, attempting to imagine what kind of person would even dream of such a thing. Magnus laughed at the look on his face, reaching over to tap him lightly on the shoulder.

"You'll like it, I promise. As long as - do you like spicy things?"

"Yeah?" 

"Oh good. Well," he stopped so sharply that Alec nearly ran into him and opened a small door to a restaurant that Alec hadn't even noticed. "Here we are! This is Luigi's, and you're gonna love it."

"I'm choosing the venue next time," Alec muttered, although he was laughing as he did so, and Magnus grinned back.

"Don't knock it 'til you've tried it. Besides, where are you gonna take me?"

Alec flushed red, suddenly forgetting every word in the English language. He stammered for a while as Magnus looked on amused, before a waiter took pity on him and descended upon the pair. "Table for two?"

"Yes please," and Magnus' entire attention was on the waiter, chatting to him about the specials and giving Alec time to at least partly compose himself. By the time he returned his thoughts to the conversation, Magnus had ordered a bottle of wine that, from the name, Alec assumed was unreasonably expensive, but his attempts to dissuade Magnus from choosing it were waved off. In his defence, it was good wine.

 

"Is your meal nice, sirs?" the waiter asked. Alec nodded, mouth full of the food that was surprisingly tasty for such a strange combination, and, when he had swallowed, announced,

"After my sister's cooking, this is heaven."

"What about mine?" Magnus pouted, neatly cutting his meal into squares.

Alec raised an eyebrow but didn't comment on the fact that it was near-inedible, instead saying, "Well yeah, but all you do is bake."

"Is this some ploy to get me to cook for you, Alexander?"

"That's exactly what this is."

 

Dessert was, in a way that Alec didn't know could be possible, even better. He and Magnus coordinated perfectly, each getting a different dessert specifically so that they could share, spooning it into each other's mouths as they played a game of 'who could make the most erotic noise whilst keeping a straight face'. Alec watched as Magnus ate the last bite of his dessert, before the man raised his slitted eyes to Alec's and said, "The last bite tasted even better," running his tongue over his lips.

Unsure of how to flirt back, Alec settled for, "Did it?" 

"Want to taste?" Magnus was leaning over the table, lips half-open and eyes lidded, and Alec realised that nothing in his life had prepared him for this, for what to do when someone you really like wants to kiss you. So he took a deep breath and took the plunge.

It was like nothing Alec had ever felt before, how soft Magnus' lips were, how easily they fitted together like two jigsaw pieces slotting into place, the way that Magnus' mouth worked against his until all he wanted to do was stay with Magnus, forever.

"Well," Magnus pulled back, and was it Alec's imagination or was he panting slightly? "I'll get the bill." For a second Alec almost thought he regretted the kiss, but the wink that was thrown his way most definitely suggested otherwise.

And this, Alec realised as they left the restaurant with hands intertwined, this was exactly what he wanted for the rest of his life. Who cared about not being a shadowhunter, who cared about Jace and his parents, as long as he had Magnus they could figure something out. This, he thought to himself with a stupid grin on his face, was what life was about. 

And then Magnus pushed Alec's sleeve up a little and saw the white marks leftover from runes and his eyes flashed and he said, "Shadowhunter," and Alec thought oh, crap.

"W - warlock?" he pulled his hand away without thinking about it, all of the stories about Downworlders seducing and stealing children rushing back to him even if he hadn't been afraid of them in a long time, even if he wasn't really a child anymore.

"It's okay," Magnus rushed to convince him, although he looked hurt and returned his hands to his pockets, "I'm okay with that."

"Warlock?" Alec's voice had taken on a harder edge, hand reaching for a weapon he wouldn't have anymore.

"You're not a Shadowhunter any more, are you? If you were, you'd be with them."

"You're a warlock."

"And you've been kicked out because you're gay, Alexander, so the old world doesn't matter to us. Come with me, we can be happy," tentatively, he reached out a hand to take Alec's, but once more Alec pulled it back, mentally berating himself for doing this again.

"You lied to me," he snarled, and Magnus frowned.

"You never told me you were a Shadowhunter. Not that it matters, we can work this out, just -"

"What, trust you? Trust a Downworlder? No, no thanks." Alec stormed off, aware that he was going in the opposite direction to his apartment but unable to bear the thought of being near Magnus, not now. He knew, somewhere in his brain, that Izzy had slept with a Seelie, but there was a difference between sleeping with and dating, between having fun with and wanting to see for the rest of his life, even if that wouldn't be very long from Magnus' point of view.

"Idiot," he muttered to himself, angrily kicking at a stone and then feeling like a ridiculous angsty teenager, "three rules. Don't be gay, don't love your parabatai, don't love Downworlders. Now you're gay for your parabatai and a Downworlder. Good going!" A woman, walking down the street towards him, took one look at the angry man in black talking to no-one and crossed the road. Alec barely took any notice of her, walking as if in a dream to the park.

 

"Young man?" someone called over, and Alec realised that he had been sitting in the exact same position for half an hour.

"Yes?" he called back.

"We don't let homeless people sleep in this park. Come with me, though, there's a homeless shelter just -" Alec stood up quickly, shaking his head and apologising.

"I'm not homeless!" he replied, although, looking down at his tattered clothes, he could well be. "I live just," he waved a hand generally in the direction that he had come from. "Down there."

The police officer looked disbelieving, but appeared to change his mind about arguing once he looked up at the sky. Alec looked up too, but all that he saw was a near full moon. "Okay then," the man replied, "on your way." So Alec went.

To his surprise, the street outside his apartment was littered with gaggles of people making their way to the complex. "Is there a problem?" He asked one, a young girl with long blonde hair who seemed too vulnerable to be out here all alone, at least until she turned around with long, white fangs out.

"You here for Mangnus' party?" she asked, and it took everything in Alec not to slap her right there, and then run in and slap Magnus too.

"No, I live next door. So," he feigned casualness, "he's having a party?"

"Of course he is! Magnus is famous for his parties among our people. Well," she waved dismissively, "if you're not invited then you aren't meant to be here, so," Alec took his cue to leave very ungraciously, stomping back to his own apartment.

"Fucking stupid warlock, throwing a fucking party. Is it because I left you, you prick? You over me that fast? Well, you're not the only one who doesn't give a shit, I'll show you," as he continued to spit expletives, Alec rummaged through his cupboards, looking for those bottles of beer and vodka that his sister had given him with an understanding pat of the shoulder when he was thrown out. Knowing, somewhere inside him, that this was the worst idea he'd had since he came out to his homophobic council, except turning Magnus down for no reason other than old standards that had already had him kicked out of his life, he pulled out the vodka and mixed it liberally with coke that, he realised when he tried some, was terribly flat. So he added more vodka and dealt with it.

 

Morosely, Alec turned the empty bottle upside-down over his mouth, shaking the last few drops of alcohol into his mouth to be absorbed into his already saturated bloodstream, before throwing it in the general direction of the bin. The smashing that reached his ears seconds (or was it minutes) later probably suggested that it hadn't found its intended target, but who cared? Who did care...Alec's mind trailed off for a while, snatching at straws of people who might give even one shit about his life, before remembering with a spark of clarity. Izzy!

He reached for his phone, taking a few tries to grab onto it because of the three he could see before him, he couldn't tell which one his hand wouldn't pass through. With it in his grasp, though, Alec's brain took a surprising and unforeseen detour through stupidity lane, and instead of hitting the speed-dial that would take him straight to Izzy, Alec found himself dialling Jace's familiar number.

"Alec?" the voice that picked up sounded alert for what Alec assumed was such a late time, but to his trained ears it was obvious that Jace had just woken up, although when Alec had learnt to read Jace so flawlessly he could quite put his finger on. "Alec, it's past midnight, is something wrong?"

"Me," Alec announced, and descended into giggles, "me, I'm wrong."

"You're....what?"

"Wrong."

"You're drunk is what you are, Alec. Please, by the angel," a rustling noise that meant Jace was sitting up, "at least tell me you're home."

"I'm home," Alec flung his arms out to emphasise his point, and bashed his hand into a wall that he was 100% sure hadn't been there before, dropping the phone to clutch his hand and whine pathetically before scrambling for it again.

"Are you okay?" Jace's tinny voice came through the speakers as Alec groaned dramatically.

"No! No, Jace, I'm not okay!" Tears prickled the backs of Alec's eyes, but he was strong, he could do this.

"You're slurring," Jace commented mildly.

"I fucked up!" Alec practically shouted at the phone, and Jace sighed but said nothing, an open invitation, at least in Alec's eyes, to tell the story. "I really like this guy and he's so hot and so nice and I love him Jace, but he's a warlock!"

"A...wha - Alec slow down jus-"

"And he found out I was a Shadowhunter but he didn't care which was so nice of him -"

"- Alec stop -"

" - but I freaked out anyway because I only want what I can't have, right? So -"

" - hang on, what? How do you only -"

"You, you idiot, I wanted you!"

"Hey, how is this about me now? I never asked for this, you're the one calling me drunk to complain don't drag me into this!"

"Whatever, dude, like I was saying -"

"Alec, you're still going to be having this crisis at a reasonable time tomorrow, go to sleep."

"I love you, dude," Alec replied sombrely, and he heard Jace sigh in relief.

"I love you too, idiot, now go to -"

" - and now he thinks I hate all Downworlders which is so not true -"

"For fucks sake, Alec."

" - and he's throwing a party so he obviously doesn't care and Jace, what should I doo?" Every drunk rant is best ended with a pitiable whimper, which Alec used to full effect, and Jace gave up on trying to hang up.

"Have you tried apologising?"

"But he's a Downworlder!" Alec clutched his hair in distress.

Ever the voice of reason, Jace merely replied, "So?"

"So I can't have him," Alec whispered, "it's not allowed."

"The Clave already kicked you out, dude, what else can they do to you?"

"What about you?" It was barely audible.

"Me?" Jace breathed heavily through his nose. "No, no, Alec, that's never what I meant. I was upset, sure, but that was because you're my parabatai!" He heard Alec take a breath to speak, and quickly overruled him, "Yes I meant are. You'll always be my parabatai. But I don't mind you being gay, God no, and if you want this warlock then go get him. I'll be with you no matter what."

"Thanks Jace!" Alec didn't even bother putting on his shoes as he rushed to the door, "Got to go now, bye!" He hung up on Jace's protests, and ignored the incoming call that he immediately got in favour of barging through Magnus' open door.

Any visions he may have had (read: definitely had) about bursting dramatically into the room, all eyes on him as he and Magnus shared a teary apology were shattered the moment he entered. For one thing, he staggered in, barely escaping a painful fate of clipping his hip on a table corner, and for another no-one seemed to notice him, all eyes instead on something happening in the kitchen.

"Get out!" Magnus was yelling at someone, who's response was either covered up by hissing or (more likely, looking at the room full of vampires) was the hissing. "I am not in the mood, now -"Whatever he had been going to say next was covered up by the group of Night's Children that had slowly been circling closer descending on Magnus, and all hell broke loose.

Seelie Folk were diving under the tables, more for a better vantage point to watch the action than anything else. Some vampires, the smart ones, were backing away, making it very clear to any warlocks that may be watching that they weren't a part of whatever was going wrong, so please don't fry them. Alec stood and watched as the circle got smaller, the snarling got louder and the blue sparks flying everywhere became fewer and far between. It wasn't until he heard Magnus give a little cry, not especially wounded but one of pain and maybe panic, that his alcohol-addled brain finally connected to his legs and he was lunging into the fray.

A split second was wasted reaching for his stele, or his bow, or any weapon, but that was over as soon as it had begun. Maybe it was the bottle of vodka, or the pure adrenaline coursing through him at the thought of Magnus being injured, but he didn't think twice about his lack of a weapon compared to the vampires' superior numbers, strength and speed. For a weapon, his hand found the empty bottle of vodka he was still clutching, smashing it against a wall and ignoring the pain as shards of glass embedded his palm. His body worked without his actions travelling through his brain, which was probably for the best considering his slowed thought patterns, and before long he was looking down at a pile of knocked-out or grumbling vampires, who, despite being asleep, still seemed to be spinning. Or was it the floor?

"Those were my guests," Magnus began, looking disgruntled, although it could be assumed that he was angrier about Alec's accusations and less about attacking a group of Night's Children. "I -" Alec groaned suddenly, acutely aware of the uneasy feeling in his stomach and the pounding in his head and the heaviness in his limbs, and in a flash Magnus' anger was gone. "Alexander?" He had to be drunk to imagine that anyone could have that level of concern in their voice about him. That, and the way he was teetering about, unable to stand on his own two feet. 

The last thing he heard before he passed out was, "Everyone out! Parties over!" And the sound of someone running across the floor to catch him so that he caught a glimpse of cat-slitted eyes before everything went black.

 

"Ohhhh, my head!" Alec mumbled the moment he woke up, wincing as even the level of his own voice made the headache worse. He realised, when he reached up to tentatively press a hand to his temple, that his bed was much more comfortable than usual, and also that he didn't remember anything that had happened last night after the scuffle with the vampires. Also, his hand was aching with a dull pain, but when he looked at it he realised that there was a bandage around it, the pristine white colour suggesting it had been changed recently. He grabbed his phone, which was on a bedside table that, if he squinted, he didn't quite recognise, and screwed up his eyes against the light of the screen as he hastily sent a message to both Izzy and Jace, "I'm not dead." and hoped that that would excuse the tens of missed calls he had accumulated.

Then he stood up, wondering if Izzy had forgiven him enough yet to give him a good hangover cure, and realised, with a swooping feeling that nearly had him throwing up, that there was no way this was his room.

"Oh, fuck," was the only response he could come up with, before figuring that if he hadn't died asleep in the bed of whatever apartment he had found his way into, he wouldn't die if he explored further.

"Oh, fuck," he repeated, wondering why it was that a hangover made him so unable to explain with absolute clarity how screwed he was, looking over to where Magnus was asleep on the couch, make-up and glitter still spread on his face and cushion that had been used as a pillow, snoring slightly and looking younger than Alec had ever seen him before. "Um."

Magnus woke at that, smiling in a way that should be illegal when one had just woken up, and greeting, "Good morning! Would you like some breakfast?"

"Um."

"I make a mean bacon and eggs," Magnus winked, rising and stretching. How was it possible that he even looked attractive when he yawned? He stood up and Alec tensed, more out of confusion as to the etiquette of apologising for getting drunk and crashing someone's party to fight, but Magnus went a shockingly pale colour and hastily stepped back.

"I won't hurt you," he pointed out, like Alec didn't already know that, and Alec immediately felt far guiltier than he had in a long time.

He sighed. "I know, and," a slight hesitation, because his head really wasn't co-operating, and in that second Magnus had reached up and moved his hand in a rocking motion. Immediately, Alec felt his body lighten, like a huge weight (or, more aptly, pain) had been removed. 

"Yes?"

"It was a massive overreaction and I'm so sorry really I don't hate Downworlders I just always fall for people I can't have and its not fair!"

"Alexander," Magnus was frowning in a way that Alec never wanted to see on a face that beautiful, because it meant he had been hurt, "you can have me. If you want me, I mean."

"Of course I want you!" Alec blurted.

"Then I believe I said something about breakfast."

"Hey, Magnus?"

"Yeah?"

"I just wanted to say this," when Magnus came over, Alec screwed up all of the courage in his body, leaned in and kissed him. "I hope your breakfast is better than your baking."

Breakfast was then abandoned in favour of the two dancing around the apartment, Alec attempting to escape Magnus grabbing hands and then, when he was eventually caught, to pretend that he wasn't hopelessly ticklish.

And yet, they both realised hopefully, this was definitely something they could get used to.


	2. Chapter 2

It was a typical Saturday night. Alec and Magnus were lounging on Magnus' couch, Magnus sitting at one end and Alec sprawled across the rest so that his head was on Magnus' lap. Magnus was watching Say Yes To The Dress with a fiery intensity usually only reserved for working complicated spells or judging someone's hair, and Alec was watching Magnus with a similar intensity. Every so often, Alec would remember that this was exactly the type of shitty TV he hated watching, and open his mouth to tell Magnus to swap channel before he died of boredom, but then Magnus' hand would find its way onto his scalp and he'd be rubbing soothing circles that made Alec forget he had ever wanted to do anything but be right here, and he would settle down again.

The comfortable silence, only broken by an occasional mutter on Magnus' part about how that dress made the bride look like a bad Elton John impersonator, was suddenly shattered by Alec's phone ringing, the bouncing ringtone leaving him scrambling up to find it in the pocket of his hoodie that either he or Magnus had dropped to the floor.

"Hello?" he picked it up on the last ring, and so was unable to check the caller ID.

"Alec?" he winced.

"Maryse? I mean, mum? What's wrong?"

"Can't I call up my son to chat?" she replied, her tone coy, and he knew that something was up.

"Why'd you call, is everything okay? Is Jace -" Magnus raised his eyebrows almost imperceptibly, and Alec mouthed 'sorry' before turning back to the phone.

"Jace is fine, I just," she sighed into the speaker, "there's been rumours."

"Of what?"

"Of you. And a," her voice dropped so low that Alec had to strain to hear it, "and a warlock." He visibly recoiled, almost dropping the phone before replying with a whisper,

"What?"

"Are they wrong?"

"Well, n-no, but,"

"We accepted you being...queer...but this is an outrage we cannot handle! Whatever you do will rub off on us, you know that? We've worked so hard to be respected the way we are now, and you want to throw it all away for a fling?"

"Mum, please," Alec desperately searched for a way to stop her tirade before she got into full swing or he could be here for literal hours, "It's not like that. I l- listen. This will be easier in person, just let me explain." Silence met his request. "Please?"

Her voice was stony as she gave one parting remark. "Fine. You'll need to pick up the rest of your stuff anyway."

Alec threw the phone, wanting the satisfaction of hearing it shatter even if he knew he would regret it. He rubbed his hands through his hair, screwed his eyes shut and waited for the noise to worsen his incoming headache. To his surprise, it never came, despite the fact that he knew that it should have hit the wall with enough force to at least crack the screen, and he turned back to see it hovering in mid-air, a faint blue glow around it.

"Alexander?" Magnus asked, and it was only a murmur but it was still enough to calm him, even just a little, "Are you okay?"

"Mum," to his horror, Alec found himself nearly crying, and immediately reined in the tears, not allowing himself to do such a thing in front of Magnus, "mum heard about us."

"Is that..." Magnus hedged his bets, "bad?"

Alec threw his arms in the air. "Yes! She told me it's gonna rub off on her, and I couldn't take it, so I told her I'd tell her in person which means she'll expect me for dinner tomorrow and I can't deal with that!" He flung himself onto the sofa, muttering curses and 'kill me now' while Magnus watched, raising one side of his mouth in an endeared smirk. 

"My dear shadowhunter," he began, and it always stunned Alec that Magnus refused to accept that he was anything less, that he was and would always be a shadowhunter, "it's going to be okay." Alec shrugged petulantly. "Are your family that bad?"

"Jace and Izzy are great. You've met Izzy, you know what she's like."

"And I've certainly heard a lot about Jace," Magnus winked.

"And Max is sweet. It'll be nice to see him. But mum and dad," he shook his head emphatically, "no way."

Magnus hummed non-committally, "It seems they're never going to approve of me." Seeing Alec's face buried in his pillow, he continued, "So now's as good a time as any to meet them."

Alec jerked his head up from the cushion, his heart skipping a beat as he took in what Magnus was saying. "You want to meet my parents?" he squeaked, stuck between dancing around the room in joy that this was so serious and locking himself in his room and never coming out. The nightmareish scenarios that pranced in front if his eyes were making him lean towards the second, but Magnus' comforting hand on his back made at least a small portion of his brain wonder if they could get through this.

Taking a few deep breaths, he turned to where his phone was still hovering, scooping it up. "Shall I tell them?" his voice wavered at the idea of having to tell his mum the change in plans without being mentally prepared to talk to her first, but Magnus soothed his fears.

"I always prefer the element of shock, don't you?" he smirked, and even in this dazed state Alec still laughed, picturing the look on his parents' faces when he brought his controversial boyfriend with him to a family dinner.

 

 

Alec spent the night imagining every way this could possibly go wrong, which was helpful in battle when you could then think of how to prevent that but useless when preparing to meet your parents and show them just how much of a disappointment you are. It wasn't until 2:30 that he finally got to sleep, his mind still furiously working on ramping up his anxiety for the day ahead.

 

"Ready?" Magnus asked Alec as soon as he opened the door, and Alec gaped. In contrast to his own black trousers and grey shirt, which he had darned the holes of that afternoon, Magnus was wearing a purple glittery shirt that opened down to just above his nipples, black jeans and a selection of jewellery that seemed at best to belong to a cult, and at worst satanic. 

"Are...are you wearing that?" he stuttered, crossing his fingers that Magnus didn't take offence. To his gratitude, his prayers were answered as Magnus looked down at himself, seeming checking out his chest before replying,

I'm not pretending to be something I'm not, especially not for people who won't like me anyway. I'm not going to apologise for who I am, and this," he clicked his fingers, sending a trail of blue sparks into the air, "is who I am. Besides," he winked, "I look good."

Alec agreed, taking a deep breath before stepping out of his room, taking Magnus' offered arm so that they could walk to the train station for the last few minutes of calm before the storm.

 

 

"Alec!" It was Max that opened the door, hair gelled in a way that meant it was supposed to be stuck to his head but still finding ways to spring up in various places. He looked at Magnus, and Alec thought about explaining, but from the look in Max's eye he knew at least some of what was going on. He had always been smart.

"This is my friend, Magnus." Was all he said, and Magnus reached down to shake Max's hand. In this simple movement Alec knew Magnus had Max hooked forever, because anyone that didn't treat him like a child was a friend to Max. Izzy twirled down the stairs, gracefully doing up one earring a she did so, but stopped when she saw the two of them in the doorway. For just a second, she took in the scene, before raising an eyebrow and nodding her approval of Alec's daring plan.

"Come in," she said serenely, moving Max out of the way and stretching her hand out to gesture at the open hallway, and at Jace, who had just arrived and was looking certifiably flustered at the unwanted guest. 

"You brought him?"

It had been a long time since Alec had seen Jace, although they had spoken more since the drunken phone call that he alternately wished to forget and tried to remember, if only so he knew how embarrassed to be, and he had been afraid that this was the thing that would throw him off most. Seeing Jace used to put him off, used to make his heart skip a beat and his head spin. Now, when he looked at him, his heart rose at the sight of an old friend, his body finally acknowledging how much he had missed him now that he had him back. But it was when he looked at Magnus to introduce the two that he felt at peace, at home. He didn't love Jace like that anymore, that much was clear, and though it was broken the Parabatai bond felt slightly right again, Alec could feel it.

"Mum and Dad aren't going to be happy," Jace commented, shaking his head, but he had felt the rightness too, and he inclined his head to accept Magnus.

"And what about you?" Magnus asked smoothly, "Are you happy with this arrangement?"

"You make Alec happy?" Jace replied, somehow conveying an order, a threat and a question into one sentence. To Alec's surprise, Magnus looked at him for confirmation, as though he wasn't already aware that Alec was happier now than he ever had been, and Alec didn't hesitate to nod. "Then I'm happy with it. The second you don't, though," Jace raised an eyebrow and left the threat hanging in the air.

"If I ever don't make Alexander happy, I can promise you you will not hate me more than I hate myself." 

"A smooth talker," Jace grinned, "you seem to like those."

Alec laughed, slipping back into the familiar yet alien routine of family. "You think you're smooth? I saw you try and pick up that redhead, she completely shut you down!" The sound of the two of them bickering echoed down the halls as they made their way to the dining room, where Robert and Maryse were waiting. 

Unlike the rest of the Institute, the room that the Lightwood parents sat in was silent, and seemed colder. Max's stories and Alec's laughter ended the second the opened the door, and the two of them turned from where they were facing each other at opposite ends of the table. They had their children's sharp features, coupled with sharp gazes that Alec and Izzy had managed to conceal behind a happiness that their parents no longer had, if they'd ever had it, and Magnus almost pitied them. Magnus himself was hidden behind Jace for a reason he had yet to know, only knowing that Jace had purposefully stepped in front of him and concealed the rest of him with a door, but he trusted Jace's judgement.

"My son," Robert began, but Maryse cut him off.

"We lost our son when he broke the law of the Clave. Alexander," she looked at him, almost seemed to look straight through him, "are you going to explain the rumours?"

"They aren't," Alec gulped, "they aren't rumours, Maryse." He floundered, struggling for the words that would explain just how far he had gone against their rules, but then Jace was standing next to him, a comforting hand on his shoulder, and the effects were instantaneous.

Firstly, Alec breathed, remembering his family extended beyond his parents no matter what judgement they ruled, and secondly Maryse and Robert were able to see Magnus for the first time.

"You brought him here?" she gasped, half-rising as though expecting the need to defend herself soon. "You brought him to our institute?"

"It was my idea," Magnus smiled charmingly, stepping forwards with an outstretched arm to shake hands and keeping his expression unruffled when both of the older Shadowhunters ignored his polite offer. "I thought it might help to tell you together."

"Because we are," Alec suddenly chimed in bravely as he wrapped an arm around Magnus' waist, "together."

Maryse lunged forwards, grabbing Alec's wrist and dragging him towards her. "A word in private, please?" At her nod, Jace shepherded Izzy, Magnus and Max out of the room, although he glance back guiltily until Alec smiled reassuringly at him.

"How could you do this to us?" Maryse began the second they were alone. Alec glanced to his father for some form of help, but despite his seeming uncomfortable with the situation he didn't do anything to diffuse it. "How could you disgrace us by being gay, and disgrace us by falling in love with your parabatai, and disgrace us by falling in love with a warlock? How do you continue to smear the name of this family even when you're not a part of it? And with your sister cavorting with fae, and Max setting fire to things...where did we go wrong?"

"Maybe," Alec wrenched his arm back, "maybe if you actually listened to your children, and cared what they thought, you wouldn't think they were disappointments! I spent my entire life protecting Izzy, all the stupid shit her and Jace did and they never died because I had their backs, and you never expressed an interest in me! But now that I've done what I want, you think you have the right to order me around? You lost that when you left for Idris. You lost that when you didn't act like parents."

"Now, Alec, don't swear at your mother," Robert reprimanded mildly, but didn't seem interested in punishing him beyond those words. Maryse, on the other hand, looked ready to explode. The red in her face had built up over Alec's short speech, until she was the same colour as a tomato.

Then, suddenly and more worryingly than if she had yelled, she calmed down. Her voice, when she spoke, was soft and controlled and dangerous. "Fine. Run off with your warlock 'boyfriend' and see what good it does you," she sneered, "but you haven't thought this through. When you're 70, he's still going to be as young as he is now. Do you think he's going to be interested in you then? When he's a young man, appealing to so many, and you're covered in battle scars and wrinkles? No -" she held up a hand to silence both Alec and Robert, "there's nothing more to say. Any ties you had with this family are now cut off. I forbid you from seeing any of my children from now on, and after this month you will move out."

"You don't even pay the rent!"

"That apartment links you to us. Move in with your warlock lover," she turned to leave the room, "while he still wants you."

 

The train journey back was spent in complete silence, a stark contrast to their earlier laughs and jokes, broken only by Magnus asking Alec what take-away he wanted and Alec responding that he wasn't hungry. Beyond that, Alec sat with his head hung low as he pondered what his parents had said, replaying his mother's leaving statement over and over again until he felt physically sick, but still could not stop.

"Alec?" Magnus waited until they were in his apartment to question him, touching his shoulder lightly, "What did they say?"

"They said," Alec took a deep breath, weighing up the pros and cons of telling Magnus exactly what had happened, "they said they were having nothing more to do with me, and I have to move out by the end of the month."

Even through Alec's obviously upset behaviour, Magnus couldn't help but feel a little thrill of excitement and relief. "Is that all?" Alec didn't respond, which he took as a yes, or at least as an 'I don't want to say the rest', so he gathered Alec in his arms. "You can move in with me! It's not like you don't stay here most nights anyway." Alec didn't respond. "I'll cut back on the partying?" Magnus tried, a last ditch attempt to elicit a response, and Alec laughed, a short bark that was obviously faked. 

"I'm tired, Magnus, I'm gonna go to bed." He announced, leaving the apartment without another word whilst Magnus wondered whether it had been him that had said something wrong.

 

Magnus' feeling that he must have done something wrong only intensified over the next few weeks. He had assumed, since being cut off from his family for what was presumably at least the lifetime of his mother, that Alec would want to see him more, either for comfort or to convince himself that it was worth it, but instead the exact opposite had happened. Ever since the meeting with his parents, Alec had pulled away, hiding in his apartment and not opening the door when Magnus spent hours out there knocking until Magnus wondered if he was even in there at all, but he couldn't bring himself to use magic when Alec so obviously didn't want to see him.

And Magnus tried everything. He baked, brought films over, sang drunkenly outside the door more times than he cared to admit, but still there was no response from Alec. Was he even going to move in with Magnus? Suddenly, neither of them knew.

This all led to one thing, Magnus reflected morosely. Alec regretted his decision of Magnus over his family, and was now going to blame Magnus for it for the rest of his life, bitter against the thing that had kept him from happiness. And yet, when the time came for everything to be packed in boxes and removed from Alec's apartment, it was merely on a short journey to Magnus'.

 

But if Magnus had hoped that Alec moving in with him would change anything, he was sorely disappointed. Somehow Alec proved to be as elusive, if not even more so, when living under the same roof, going out from dawn til dusk and collapsing in the spare room when he came back, leaving the space that Magnus always left beside him in bed cold, so that Magnus took to hugging a pillow in his sleep.

It got worse when Magnus tried to confront him, finally cornering Alec in the kitchen as he was about to go out for a run at 4 in the morning. "Have I done something wrong?" he asked, sleep deprivation only serving to make his pleas for Alec to talk to him more convincing, to no avail. All Alec did was duck his head and mutter something inaudible.

"Alexander, please," Magnus tried again, desperate to get results, "tell me what I've done wrong and I can fix it."

"Nothing yet," Alec replied suddenly, a phrase that caught Magnus so off-guard that he didn't manage to stop Alec from slipping past him and out of the door. 

"What on Earth...?" Magnus muttered, watching Alec walk out with a sense of impending doom. And so he waited.

He waited for Alec to come back until the light drizzle from the morning had turned into a full-on storm, until Alec had been gone over 24 hours and Magnus had called anyone who had ever known him at least ten times each, until Magnus was going out of his mind with worry. Rationally, he knew that Alec was more than capable of looking after himself, but he also knew that he had never been gone this long before, and that something was seriously wrong with his boyfriend.

By the time Alec returned, at 6am the day after he had left, sopping wet and coughing but still glowering at Magnus when he rushed forward, a mixture of wanting to help and wanting to hug him, to prove to himself that Alec had really come back and he hadn't just passed out from exhaustion after waiting, hoping, for so long.

"You're back," Magnus muttered, more to comfort himself than expecting Alec to reply, much less apologise. The silence that met his words only proved to show how far south Alec, and therefore their relationship, had deteriorated since whatever Alec's parents had said to him, which Magnus still didn't know even though he had gone so far as marching into the Institute and demanding to be told. The elder Lightwoods seemed to take some sick pleasure from knowing that they had had an effect, and the younger ones had no idea what had been or could be done. "Here, let me," he raised his hands, glowing bright blue for a second as he focussed his energy on a comforting warmth for Alec.

"Stop!" the younger boy yelled immediately, raising a hand as though to physically shield himself from the magic. "Don't do that."

Obediently, Magnus stopped, but he still questioned the decision. "Alexander, you're shaking. The least I can do is make sure you don't get ill."

"All I want you to do is leave me alone," Magnus had never heard Alec sound so much like a moody teenager, and he didn't like it. As the shadowhunter threw his shoes into a corner, leaving a trail of wet splatters that Magnus made a mental note to clean before he slipped over in them, the warlock finally lost it.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" He yelled, well aware that for him to be this angry or to swear in frustration was something that Alec wouldn't have seen much, but there was too much pent-up fear and anger for him to stop. "You've been gone over a day, I haven't slept looking for you, I've called all of your friends asking about you, I've been worried sick and you want me to just pretend everything is okay? I have no idea what I've done wrong, Alexander, but you'd better tell me because this," he gestured at the space between them, "this isn't us. Not the way it used to be, and not the way I want it to be. So please, please just talk to me?" After a brief moment of avoiding eye contact, Alec let out a long sigh, before meeting his partner's eyes once more.

"Why are you with me?" He asked, and Magnus was so taken aback that he had no response for a few seconds, having expected anger or guilt but not doubt. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm not doing anything to you, Alexander. I'm with you because I love you, don't you know that?"

"And what about later? When I'm all grown up and you're still a teenager? I'm mortal, Magnus, I grow old and I die!"

"So that's what this is about," Magnus hummed, "May I ask what you're concerned about?"

"Are you not listening to me?" Alec exploded, and Magnus took a step back, not wanting to bear the brunt of this sudden anger. "I'm going to get older and you won't and then you'll leave me so I won't have you, and my parents hate me so I don't have them, and I hardly see Jace and Izzy and Max so I'm going to lose them and then I'm going to be all on my own!"

"You're never going to be alone, my dear Alexander," Magnus dared a step forward, not quite trusting either of them enough to touch Alec yet but being close enough to when deemed appropriate, "you really think I'd leave you just because you get older?"

Alec sighed. "Why would you want me when I can't go out anymore, when I'm old and wrinkled and ill?"

"Because I'm not dating you for your looks, Alexander. Otherwise my mirror would suffice, would it not?" He winked, and was glad to see a small smile on Alec's face, brief and tiny but still flickeringly there. "I'm dating you for you. For your wit and charm and personality, Alec, I love everything about you. And if anyone thinks that you being mortal means I will leave you before your time then they are sadly mistaken."

"Really?" Alec questioned, voice wavering but sounding like he was beginning to believe it. "You'll stay with me?"

"To the end of the line," Magnus smiled back, dodging Alec's flailing hand at the terrible movie reference, before catching it and using it to bring Alec in to his chest. "You'll never be alone, my dear."

To Magnus' surprise, Alec leaned his head on his chest and began to take deep breaths. Slowly, Magnus moved his hand to his boyfriend's hair and began stroking it soothingly. "You can cry, you know," he pointed out, "I won't think any less of you." Almost immediately, he felt a wetness on his shirt that could only mean Alec had taken him up on his word, and began rocking on his heels, trying to comfort Alec as one would a child. "I'm here," he whispered into Alec's hair, ignoring how cliché he sounded, "I'm here, I've got you, you're safe."

"I'm sorry Mags," Alec apologised, once he had calmed down enough that he had stopped sobbing and was instead quietly sniffling, "for everything."

"And you're forgiven for everything," Magnus responded immediately, kissing his forehead. "Are you okay?" Alec nodded, seeming slightly embarrassed by his outburst but not saying anything about it. "Then let's go to bed," he grinned, wide eyes indicating that he meant nothing more than innocent sleeping, unless Alec changed his mind, "I've missed having you to hold."

"I missed you too, Mags."

"Good thing you're never going to have to miss me again. I'm never going to leave you, Alexander. Wild horses couldn't drag me away."

"I love you."

"And I love you."


End file.
